Fear, Chutzpah and Upside-Down Cats

I know I’ve been telling funny psychic-stories lately (and I have loads more coming) – but today I wanted to talk to you about . . .

. . . CATS.

[WARNING: If you’re HATE cats, read below. . . . And if you LOVE cats — read below, too.]

Now on to the outright MIRACLE that happened this week.

First let’s set the stage: I have 2 cats: Shmoo (Short for: Shmoooodereeeeeederooooooo), and Chia (Short for: Chia Pet).

Chia was adopted to be a fur-buddy to Shmoo (which hasn’t worked out as planned, but that’s for another semi-sad-yet-silly story for down the road . . . )

[Meet Shmoo and Chia below . . . ]

I adopted Chia from a local “Cat Lady” (who had 40+ cats roaming wild in a small Brooklyn apartment) – telling her I ONLY wanted a long-haired cat.

But she only had 1. (. . . Guess who?)

She warned me:

“I’ll be gone on a trip for 2 weeks. But this little kitten is already SO feral and traumatized –– I’m afraid if no one takes her today . . . she’ll NEVER be adoptable!!!

Gulp.

And while the magical powers of guilt-tripping haven’t worked out so well in my personal relationships, it worked out GENIUSLY for Chia that day.

So with no other choice but to take this rather-crazy-but-gorgeous gray cat home . . . so began her *9-YEAR-LONG* rehabilitation process – as I attempt to make Chia “semi-normal”.

. . . Thank God she’s SO damn cute!!!)

I won’t bore you with details here, but as you can imagine: a 9-year semi-recovery is a uber-long, drawn-out, super-duper-slooooooooooow process.

But overall: It’s mostly like living with a wild animal who thinks you’re perpetually thinking about MURDERING her (even when you’re just trying to give her a treat, or scratch her lil’ bum).

Basically think: Kitty-PTSD.

Now she STILL thinks I’m going to kill her every time I stand up, walk toward her, or make any sudden moves. . . . But I love her just the same.

(We all have our shadow-sides, am I right?)

But . . . She and I have also made huge strides, too!!!!!!!!

Slowly, slowly, slowly, she’s learned to:

• Come up to me for head-scratches . . . (Oh Happy Day!)

• Sit on my lap . . . (Huge triumph!)

• Let me kiss her face obsessively . . . (Massive GINORMOUS mile-stone!)

But this week . . .

Well . . .

If there are such things as kitty-miracles, I witnessed one. . . A moment my heart thought would NEVER come.

(Almost as if she were in sync with my own evolution – having reached some personal milestones this week myself after a long and winding journey.)

My scared-of-her-shadow-kitty came up to me, sat in my lap, let me give her 80 kitty-kisses in a row . . .

And THEN . . .

(drumroll)

I grabbed her . . . and. . .

I Flipped her UPSIDE-DOWN!!!!!!

Then proceeded to rub her kitty-belly for 20-minutes straight . . .

(While she drooled all over my lap, FYI.)

Angels gathered. Clouds parted. Trumpets rang out. Cherubs sang.

(Are you getting the gist of how HUGE this moment was?)

Yup, Chia is now an upside-down, feral, belly-tickled LOVE-MONSTER!!!!!!

. . . So, why the heck am I telling you all this?

Because I’ve experienced the very SAME thing.

(And you’re probably going through the same thing, too – especially if you’re in the midst of a shit-storm, not feeling satisfied with your life, dealing with addictions, stuck in repeating negative cycles, struggling with money, lacking confidence, afraid of deep intimacy with others, or not living your life’s true mission – just to name a few.)

You see, Chia was terrified of . . . TERROR.

In Feline-Therapy terms: She was just afraid to feel her feelings.

So every time something got near her . . . even her weirdo red-headed Mommy who just wanted to gush LOVE on her . . . she RAN.

. . . Heading for the safety of the CATNIP-HILLS!!!!! (Or so she conned herself into believing.)

Unfortunately, she didn’t realize what was REALLY happening.

She didn’t understand the Truth.

She was just a prisoner of her body’s emotional triggers. And she innocently misinterpreted those “panicky” signals as a sign that something TERRIBLE was about to take place.

And this caused her to miss out on 9 years of kitty-cuddles and belly smooches.

But . . . this ISN’T bad news.

It’s the way things roll for some of us. (MOST of us, honestly. . . ) Myself included.

When we get hurt as kids (or kittens) . . . we make up stories that make us think that life is: bad, dangerous and less-than-trustworthy.

Then every time we feel those icky feelings bubbling inside, we run for the hills, too.

Just like Chia.

But also just like Chia: you can bravely choose to feel those fears, and take baby-steps anyway . . . slowly learning to trust, test out new territory, and see if those things you’re afraid of will REALLY kill you. (Or not.)

There’s no race.

We each get there when we get there.

Don’t feel badly if you’ve spent decades unable to reach your dreams, face your fears, or show your vulnerable belly to others.

Beating yourself up for not getting there faster will only hold you back more — and waste even MORE time.

Oh sure, it may look like a semi-sad story that Chia took ALL these years to get her drooly-belly rubbed.

But . . . at least she GOT THERE!!!!!!

Because it’s NEVER too late for any of us.

You’re never too old to change a pattern. Make new choices. Test out new territory. Or take a (seemingly risky) leap of faith!

I got a WHOPPING dose of this medicine myself last year.

I realized I’d spent my ENTIRE adult life running from feeling the pain I’d been bottling up inside.

But running from it wasn’t getting me anywhere. (In fact, it was slowly dismantling my life.)

But I dared to dive head-first into emotions that I previously thought would DESTROYme.

I felt feelings I thought would DO ME IN.

I experienced the depth of my darkest shadows in a way I didn’t think a human being could SURVIVE.

Yet I did it anyway.

I said to myself: “Self, what does it matter if I fail at this thing or not? What if I actually MAKE IT THROUGH instead?”

(Because I knew if I didn’t, I was most DEFINITELY screwed. Yuckballs.)

Once I saw the clever (albeit painful) cosmic setup in the situations in my life, I realized there was no other choice left.

But trust me, it’s always a CHOICE — even when it doesn’t feel like it.

As for Chia, she could have said: “To HELL with you humans! I don’t need no stinkin’ hugs-n-kisses! I’m going to sit here for the rest of my days, bat around this little fake mouse, eat food, take naps… and protect myself from kitty-catastrophe. Thank you very much . . .”

But she DIDN’T.

She was brave.

That’s because she wanted something FAR MORE than she wanted to stay stuck.

Now, for you, that strong desire may come in the form of: radical self love, a sense of connection and belonging, deeply rewarding work, a playful creative outlet, more sensual delights and pleasures, an intimate and rich love relationship, or a profound connection to the Divine. . . . Who knows!

But the question remains:

Will you be brave enough to wake up, shake things up, and face your biggest fears?!?!?

I’ve come to see that if I don’t go willingly, the Universe will (lovingly) put even bigger roadblocks, catastrophes and heartbreaks in my path – as a sneaky-soulful GIFT to shake me back awake!

I’ve also finally come to understand that upside-down belly-rubs await ALL of us at the end of any tear-drenched or traumatizing rainbow. Always.

But you gotta face your fears to get to your pot-o-gold.

By facing my biggest fears last year. . . I was NOT destroyed. 

In fact, quite the opposite: I was brought BACK TO LIFE – in a way I’ve been seeking and searching for since I was a little girl.

(Who knew that I’d find the BIGGEST diamond smack dab in the middle of life’s biggest CRAP-STORM?)

Ah, gotta luv the Divine’s sense o’ humor . . .

So with that, always remember this:

• EVERYONE is terrified – there’s nothing wrong with feeling pain.

• FEELINGS can’t kill ya (but suppressing them actually can).

• The BIGGEST DREAMS are found on the other side of your biggest fears.

• THOUGHTS are rarely trustworthy – question them to break their scary spell.

Huge love to you, Beautiful Soul!

Until next time. . .

XOXOX

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