“LONER SYNDROME” Will CRUSH Your Dreams

Why No Woman Becomes Unstoppable All By Herself — And How To Pick the Perfect Mentors, Support and Guidance to Get Where You Want to Go!

loner

I never thought I’d write this article.

I honestly never thought I’d have to.

I just assumed that what I’m about to discuss was obvious. Evident. Clear as a bell. Plain as the nose on your face.

But apparently not.

I’m referring to: MENTORS.

(Or more accurately: GOOD Mentors!)

There’s a wild phenomenon of women thinking that they’re going to figure out this crazy world on their own. Or build businesses in isolation – while somehow gleaning everything they need to know from listening to free interviews, podcasts or online trainings they stumble upon on the wonders of the interwebs . .

No offense, Sweetcakes . . . but: There’s nothing more INSANE than that crazy kind o’ thinking!!!!!!

Been there. Done that.

I’ve personally had a variety of powerful mentors in my corner – since I was 19!!! (When I didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together.)

So no matter what your situation (or budget) – there ARE mentors out there waiting for you, too.

Because the TRUTH is: Mind-blowing mentors are what have helped me become the woman I am today. I couldn’t have done it without each and every one of them.

And neither can YOU.

So let’s cut the crapola. And get you out into the world, squirtguns a’ blazin’ – so you can begin to attract the perfect mentor into your life (or business), too . . . taking one big, giant running leap toward “Unstoppable!”

But first, WHAT is a “Mentor” anyway?

A mentor is simply someone who’s got a super-skill in an area where you’re needing a smidge more oomph. They don’t have to be light-years beyond you, although sometimes they are. They simply have to be able to provide guidance, wisdom, teaching – or simply be living as an example in your area of intrigue.

They’re there to point the way. Call you on your crud. Become your bright shining light when everything around you looks gray.

They’re knights in shining cerebral wisdom . . .

But WHY are they SOOOOOOO important?

Well, let’s just pop the hood on that ol’ cranium of yours, and take a peek inside:

If left to your own devices, you’re basically no different than one of those lotto-ball cages with the crank-handle on the side… endlessly spinning and spinning around the SAME ol’ balls of info – but into different colorful combinations. (And kidding yourself into thinking you’re doing something “new” or “innovative”…)

Tell yourself whatever you like – but the truth is: It’s the same ol’, same ol’ – regurgitated into a pretty new package.

BUT…

When a good mentor comes along, they lift the hood, and dump brand-spankin’-new fuel into your engine.

They add NEW insights. NEW information. NEW data. And NEW ideas.

And that produces (you guessed it): NEW ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can choose to grind away slooooooooooowly…  trying to figure out something on your own (often over countless DECADES). Which is about as fast and efficient as a snail wading through cement.

Or…

You can get a great mentor – and take a quantum-leap, instead.

When you’re ready, willing, AND have a great mentor by your side, you can move at the speed of light (compared to other mere mortals).

It’s up to you. (I, personally, am into SPEED.)

There’s a side-perk to mentors, too – beyond just helping to dump new data into your noggin.

Just the act of being around a higher-vibrational person will start unraveling your icky bits, and lifting you to higher ground, before you know what hits you.

I absolutely LOVE this phenomenon: just a day with a high-powered colleague; or an hour with an empowered mentor; or a week with a beloved Guide can do more for me than my little head can comprehend.

Since everything is simply different forms of energy, it makes perfect sense why this “magic” would take place around mentors. Whomever’s got the most mighty mojo… WINS! So since their energetic-stance is the strongest – your energy is going to shift upward to match your Mentor’s – often within a matter of hours… minutes… or even seconds.

Pow! Bang! Zoom to the moon!

Sure, you might be saying: “Gosh, this is all obvious info, Stephanie…”

Then WHY in the world am I seeing woman… after woman… after woman… after woman… STILL coming through my doors… WITHOUT a Mentor??????

Because let me give you a little tough-love, Ladybug:

I do not know ONE SINGLE STINKIN’ colleague of mine who’s living an Unstoppable life, or has built an Unstoppable Business… without a Mentor.

Not one single flippin’ one.

(And I know a LOOOOOOOT of people.)

This isn’t a sales pitch. This isn’t some creepy “con” move to rope you into becoming a client. This is just TRUTH, with a Capital-T. 

So pretty please: Stop being stubborn! Stop being stingy with your Soul! Stop slacking off when it comes to your spiritual expansion…

…And get a freakin’ Mentor, already!!!!!!

But since I’ve been around the block about a gojilion times, I can hear your brain grinding away:

“I can’t afford a mentor!”

And…

“I don’t know where to find a GREAT mentor!”

First of all, most of my Mentors have landed in my lap. I’ve just had to be dedicated to my growth, and my happiness, and my expansion. When you’re aligned with your dreams, and committed to doing whatever it takes to achieve them, the Universe has an uncanny way of delivering the answer. Quickly and pretty darn effortlessly.

I met my first core Mentor, Jackie Patricia, on a BUS.

She made a B-line for me, while I sat in a totally empty bus… sat down beside me… waited for me to stop rolling my eyes at the crazy lady sitting by my side when there were endless other options available… and by the end of that bus trip, my life had already done a 360° spin. TWICE.

Now decades later, she’s STILL my core Mentor. Funny how all that rolls.

My business, spiritual and health Mentors were the same. Somehow through life’s crazy grapevine, their names would appear. Someone would recommend them. I’d get their email on just the right day. Or land on a website that leads me to the pot-o-gold.

You don’t have to work too terribly hard at finding a Mentor. You just have to WANT a mentor, and be open to receiving it. Much of the rest just takes care of itself. (Although a little elbow grease here and there definitely can’t hurt.)

And this same principle goes for your budget. I’ve experienced situations like these countless times: 

— If you have $0, but are committed to having a mentor… someone will show up and play that role. For free.

— If you have $5,000 to your name… and are committed to having a mentor… somehow that Mentor will fit right into your budget.

— Or if you have $10,000 – but they cost $20,000 – when you’re committed to having a Mentor, the ideas or resources to afford that Mentor WILL show up. If you’re determined, clear and intuitively open: VOILÁ! = The answer and resources will ALWAYS appear…

So stop telling yourself day and night: “I can’t afford it!” or “I don’t know where to find a Mentor!” — and work on your inner game, instead.

Get honest with yourself, first and foremost:

  • Are you AFRAID to have a Mentor?

  • Are you AFRAID to make big changes?

  • Are you AFRAID to step outside your comfort zone… bigtime?

  • Are you AFRAID of the work that will be required?

(FYI: Most people are.)

If you’re going to stall your progress, at least be HONEST about why. (That’s the only way things can change.)

I also hear this belief a LOT: “Gosh, aren’t Mentors EXPENSIVE?”

Nope. Not a good one.

(Regardless of what they charge.)

The cost of wasting time. Letting days slip away. Stalling your own progress. And going to your death-bed with your dreams still rollin’ around inside that pretty pink heart of yours… is COSTLY.

ADDENDUM: Avoid Spending TOO MUCH On A Mentor!

I didn’t want to have to include this info – but I’ve got to.

Far FAR too many women are also coming through my practice — having spent a *literal* FORTUNE on mentoring programs (almost always programs that fell far short from what they were expecting… leaving them in massive debt, self-doubt and defeat).

If you are a beginner in business, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS spending a fortune on Coaching. Period.

If you are somehow trying to kid yourself into thinking that a $25,000, $50,000 or $100,000 mentoring program is a good idea… when you don’t know what you’re doing; have little experience; aren’t already a sales expert; don’t have a target market; and don’t have a strong message and voice… Then you’re up Shit Creek without a paddle. 

(That is: Unless you’ve got a trust fund… or a REALLY rich partner.)

Use your noodle before getting sucked into someone’s sales pitch. Fo’ Sho.

That’s not to say that you won’t spend a pretty penny on awesome mentoring — you’re paying for that person’s LIFE-TIME of experience. That ain’t cheap.

Plus, there’s something about plunking down some big bucks that really stakes your flag in the sand. Gets you committed like nobody’s business. And causes a massive ripple effect on its own.

But be smart. Sensible.

Stretch yourself WAY outside your comfort zone when investing in a mentor. But there’s a big difference between a “big stretch” and being ready for a padded cell and a straight jacket. That’s all I’m sayin’, Sistah…

Whew… now that I’ve gotten that off my chest – back to the core message…

Without a Great Mentor, you’ll:

  • Miss out on raises, or career opportunities
  • Overspend to cover up the black hole in your chest
  • Make poor financial decisions or choices
  • Fall on your face, unable to pick yourself back up
  • Start letting “failures” build up, and lose confidence in yourself and your abilities over time
  • Listen to those niggling, annoying voices in your head – and psyche yourself out

And more lousy tidbits like these.

But WITH a Great Mentor, you can:

  • Claim your confidence – so you get back up no matter how many times you fall!
    • Have keen instincts about what to do, and when to do it.
  • Take bigger leaps of faith than you’d ever do on your own
  • Take on wildly, outrageously, enormously brave projects
  • Stand out from the crowd — and grab up endless opportunities!
  • Have a radiance about you that attracts people and miracles at every turn

EXERCISE: THE COST OF NOT HAVING A MENTOR

First, think about having a totally kick-ass, brilliant Soul – ON YOUR SIDE!

Then imagine how your life would change with that level of fierce love, and support, and butt-burning…

How much more money would you likely make per month?

  • Would you get that raise… finally?
  • Would you start that business… finally?
  • Would you finally make those sales calls… finally?

What would you be willing to do, if someone truly had your back, and believed in your greatness (even more than you did)?

“I would likely make $______________________ more per month.”

Now take the number you inserted, and multiply that by 12 months.

$_______________________ x 12 = $__________________________

Sit with that number. That is how much you’re missing out on… every single month that’s been clicking by… never to return.

Ouch.

When doing this exercise with women, RARELY would their dreamiest Mentor cost MORE than this amount…

Almost every women I’ve ever met CAN afford Mentoring – if they’d just wake up to the costliness of going without one.

I’ll be honest though – It is VERY weird to be writing this today.

Every single time I have this conversation with women – I’m SHOCKED at how shocked THEY are to hear the vital, invaluable role that Mentors MUST play in their lives.

No matter how many hundreds of times I’ve said these same words… over and over and over… I’m still always floored that everyone DOESN’T know this (seemingly) obvious fact.

So let’s make things even more clear, and go through traits that I look for in most of my mentors (you may have a different list – add or change this so it works for you).

Here are some starting guidelines to consider:

  1. They have skills you don’t have, in an area of life where you’re needing it the most (ie. business, health, relationships, finances, spirituality, mindset, etc.)

  2. They are doing their own personal development work diligently behind-the-scenes – always enhancing, expanding and strengthening their skills.

  3. They are in the trenches with their unique industry – and their skills are still relevant and applicable to modern life.

  4. They have faced similar blocks or challenges that you’ve faced — and have conquered them!

  5. They are wicked-smart at spotting your stuck-spots – so they can move you FAST!

  6. They know how to tailor and personalize their wisdom to what you’re uniquely needing — not a generic one-size-fits-all approach or technique.

  7. They are truth-tellers, and love you enough to be bluntly honest with you.

  8. They are intuitive people — able to sense the hidden aspects of your challenges, see the “big picture” of your problems, and tap into kick-ass guidance.

  9. They are floating at a higher Vibration than you — with more confidence, optimism, bravery, boldness and/or success in their given area of expertise.

So there. We’ve covered a lot.

I hope you’ve really taken this to heart.

If there is ONE thing you can gift to yourself this holiday season, it’s the gift of hiring a Mentor. Finally. …Hallalujah!

Because time is the most PRECIOUS commodity.

And a great Mentor can help you make the most out of the time that you’ve got.

Nothing rocks my world much more than that delightful idea.

So keep me posted, Hot-Stuff! If you’ve got questions about finding, hiring and working with a Mentor, feel free to reach out or leave your comments below… I’m here to help!

Big love –

Stephanie

© Copyright 2015 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

This entry was posted in Being Unstoppable!, Business, Inspired Action, Manifesting, Procrastination, Relationships, Support, Unstoppable Mindset. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

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One Comment

  1. Linda Ursin
    Posted December 10, 2015 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    I sure hope one will land in my lap soon. I need help in copywriting and marketing (to begin with), but I have no extra room in my budget for hiring one (prioritizing bills and other living expenses).

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