Stop Asking “WHY?”

Life’s Miracles Come in Strange Packages –– Stop Squashing Them FLAT with this Seemingly-Small Word.

confusedMost Unstoppable Entrepreneurs have a lousy habit:

They innocently misinterpreting the road-bumps along the entrepreneurial highway — labeling things as “BAD” (when they’re actually not. )

Here’s 2 great examples . . .

1. I was robbed. (Literally.)

While I was away at a business conference 2 weeks ago, someone decided to pry open the door to my storage unit and take a “free” shopping spree . . .

2. I lost a contest I was really excited about.

I entered a contest at last month’s “Be the Change” conference – a contest that I’d been over-the-moon excited about! But I flat-out lost. No honorable mention, no glory. No glitz.

. . . Isn’t that the BEST????????????

No, no… I”m not trying to be funny. I’m serious as taxes.

And the REASON they turned out so perfectly is because I didn’t ask: “WHY?” (I’ll explain in more detail below…)

So this week I want to teach you how to stop asking “WHY”  — so you can let life’s miracles come to YOUR business in new, surprising, or even shocking new ways.

Let me explain . . .

“Why?” is the question on every human mind — a simple (seemingly) harmless, little word that’s hovered around for eons.

You’ll hear it randomly throughout your day via internal mental-chatter like:

• Why did that client say “NO”?

• Why am I stuck in this dead-end job?

• Why did that person look at me that way?

• Why do I struggle with money so much?

• Why did my body get sick?

…and the list goes on and on and on and on!

Sure, there are times when the word “WHY” can appear to be helpful. But most times, it’s of 0 use.

So WHY is this 3-letter word so lousy?

Because it assumes that your small human perspective is accurate.

But reality is: You can’t ever know SQUAT. (No matter how much your brain cons you into thinking otherwise).

This all came to me crystal-clearly while doing some automatic-writing just a few short weeks ago — as I inquired about all types of things like my biz, health, income and love.

After asking countless questions (all starting with “Why” by the way) the the surprisingly-simple answer I received was:

“STOP ASKING WHY.”

It finally hit me like a ton of bricks: “WHY” is one of the most useless words ever…

It’s how my Brain tries desperately to be in “control” — attempting to understand the complexities of the Universe, dictate life’s details, direct life’s timing.  (And I don’t need to be psychic to know that your’s does this, too.)

But nothing could be farther from productive — or more impossible — As if any mere mortal could ever come close to understanding the awe-inspiring complexity that we call life!!!

“WHY?” is your brain’s goofy attempt at playing God — which I personally find to be a terribly stressful job for a hairy, well-meaning sack-o-cells like you and I.

The SMARTER thing to ask is:

“What can I do from THIS point — in THIS moment— to become a better match with what I DO want? “

Nothing much else is required (or matters).

Because whether you like it or not, there’s a FAR bigger choreography happening in the world beyond just your wee-brain’s perspective. And there are a whole lot of other human’s involved in this wonderfully-woven tapestry we call life.

When you try to comprehend it’s brilliance from a human vantage-point, it’s like attempting to understand the workings of the Universe by looking down a kid’s sippy-straw… The view is way, way too narrow to provide anything useful, and is a big ol’ fat waste o’ time, too (if you ask me).

Some say: “But you’ve got to understand the past in order to change the future!” But that’s just a giant load of crap…

Looking backwards does nothing but aim you right at the heart of your problems — a dreamy way to magnetize a whole slew of garbage, pain and suffering into your life.

Here’s the truth of the matter: While your brain is BUILT to prove that it’s right about everything — it is, in fact, always wrong (and usually blames, shames and makes you “bad” all along the way).

For example:

1.MY STORAGE UNIT WAS BROKEN INTO.

COMMON REACTION: “This F-ing SUCKS!!!!! – My stuff is my stuff, and people should keep their mitts to themselves….”

REALITY:

  1. They only took a few things I’d been meaning to get rid of for eons… Now that’s clutter-clearing at it’s BEST!
  2. I ended up moving my stuff to a new unit – giving me the chance to reorganize my space like I’d been wanting to do for months.
  3. During this re-arrange, I found a few important objects that had been on my mind bigtime the week before.

2. I LOST THE CONTEST.

COMMON REACTION: “But my video was AWESOME!!!! It’s obvious it should have won – I’m so P.O.’d!!!”

*** If you didn’t watch it yet, just click here: http://youtu.be/gId1V6K-LAE 

REALITY:

  1. I learned how to edit video for the 1st time, built my own green-screen studio, had a TON of creative fun— while having a pretty freakin’ funny video to show for it. 
  2. I ended up meeting the contest winner and realized that this person needed the prize 10,000x more than I did. 
  3. I realized that the prize wasn’t what I thought it was — and would have taken me down a very different path (that I don’t think I even want).

I have a TON of stories even better than these – but these help make my point.

Sure, I know it’s not always easy to find those silver linings underneath what looks like big, black, ominous clouds. But it’s always there — if you’re brave enough to look for it.

BECAUSE:

— Blessings are often overlooked.

— Gems are so often dismissed.

— Miracles are too often flushed down life’s toilet.

Life’s “Woe-is-Me” moments are actually gifts wrapped up in “BUMMER” wrapping paper — if you never pull off the bow and dig inside, you miss out entirely on the opportunity sitting inside.

NO ONE has ever made a mistake. NO ONE has ever failed.  (Because failure and mistakes don’t actually exist). They are nothing but the small, squashed, skewed perspectives of humans who’ve lost site of their own infinite unstoppability.

So this week, when you hit a road-bump along life’s long highway, pull over and write a brand new story – one with a delicious, exciting outcome that is designed with your highest good in mind.

Grab pen and paper (or just close your eyes) and say: “If my life depended on writing a happy ending to this challenging situation, how would that story go?”

Then see what new insights are unleashed…

Share any of YOUR life’s moments that looked like a bummer at the beginning – but turned into a blessing down the road: Because we all need the reminders!

 

© 2013 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

 

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. Melody
    Posted May 11, 2013 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    Hey Stephanie!

    Where should I start with all the “bad” things that have happened to me? The list is soooooo long, that I’m not even going there, lol. However, there’s no way I would have EVER gained such insights into myself and life, had I been trying to on my own. I’m very thankful for my experiences & the people that have been brought into my life because of them. Like YOU!

    I LOVED your video. I officially declare you the “Winner” of the Unstoppables. Learning what you’ve learned about issuing a challenge, what challenge would you issue to another Unstoppable, like myself… Please, no business stuff!!!! But, something happy & fun about my life. (Did I just answer my own question!?! I tend to see the answer once I say something out loud to others. Anyone else do this, too????)

    Hope you are having a FAB-u-lous weekend. I’m in Florida helping my friend prepare her home for selling and she has me helping her design something in an unfinished garage bathroom… The saws are cutting wood, the drills are making beautiful music, and the paint is patiently waiting for its turn!

    ….instead of asking “Why?”, I like to ask “Why not!?!”

    xoxoxo,
    M

  2. Samantha
    Posted May 12, 2013 at 2:19 am | Permalink

    Oh this is so true, my head is full of these stories and I can get so caught up in them for minutes and hours and DAY! It is so unproductive!

    I love where you give the tip “What can I do from THIS point — in THIS moment— to become a better match with what I DO want?“

    This is such a great tool to stop my wheels in their never-ending spin, I hate that out of control negativity so thank you for giving me a tool to focus on turning something I maybe didn’t want so much, into something that might take me somewhere, you rock!

  3. Tanya
    Posted May 12, 2013 at 2:25 am | Permalink

    Yes, yes, yes. This is a great empowerment to get out of victim mode. There are times I admit I like to wallow in the “woe is me” mentality, but nothing good every comes from it. I have built a core group of friends who choose to look for the positive and I rely on them to help keep me moving forward when things “appear” to be closing in (they never really are) so I will share your thoughts with them, thank you from all of us! You truly are an inspiration!

  4. Stacey Vulakh
    Posted May 13, 2013 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    Talk about the ultimate question: “If my life depended on writing a happy ending to this challenging situation, how would that story go?”

    Thank you for sharing…asking that question can’t help but change one’s perspective!

  5. Katherine
    Posted May 14, 2013 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    I just watched the video and thought it was amazing. What an actress you are! It was funny and insightful and inspiring (I’m amazed one person did all that!) I loved this post, too. I tend to assume something positive will come of the negative, but then I spend so much time pondering and squinting at the situation wondering what the hell the positive is that i waste time! Just move on! I love it. And I love the action of asking What can I do from THIS point — in THIS moment— to become a better match with what I DO want?“ A great motivating moving forward question, Thank you! (I seem to no longer be on your email list and I have tried to get back on and it doesn’t seem to work. I get all the great intro stuff again but then I don’t get the newsletters… could someone on your team make sure I get your awesome emails? Thanks)

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