How this (Seemingly) Unrelated Phobia Can Wreak Hidden Havoc
There is an ironic (and slightly amusing) phenomenon running rampant across the planet — a seemingly-normal (yet totally paralyzing) phobia that wrecks more lives, missions, and businesses than just about anything else:
The fear of death.
And every time someone close to me dies, it reminds me of this fact all the more.
So to honor my friend Brian who left the physical world last week, it feels only right to honor his memory by kicking YOU (lovingly) in the butt — because you never know how long you’ve got.
And what matters MOST of all is what you do with the time you have.
I know, I know… you may be thinking: “Wow, what a HEAVY topic! Couldn’t we talk about something a bit lighter?”
But if you try to skip this subject, there’s a darn good chance that all your other efforts will end up going down the drain.
Here are the 2 main reasons I find the fear of death “amusing”:
- The fear of death is the ONLY thing that you can inevitably count on in life.
- The more afraid you are of death, the less likely you are to LIVE.
Sure, you may not spot an obvious aversion to death in your day-to-day life. It’s likely not something you’re consciously cooing over from hour to hour. But if you take a sneak peek under your cerebral hood, I’ll bet you’ve got more of this going on than you may have ever realized.
This fear often comes in the form of these common beliefs:
• “I want/need people to like me.”
• “I’m afraid I’ll fail.”
• “I’m afraid I won’t have enough money.”
• “Something bad might happen.”
But don’t stop there . . . If you dive a few layers deeper and ask:
“AND THEN WHAT?” (or an alternate question: “WHY?”)
. . . to the statements above – over and over, until you come to the end of the road – you likely discover that your own mortality rests at it’s core.
EXAMPLE: If a prospective client doesn’t like me . .. then what? Well, they might think I’m not smart enough to have my own business. Then what? I won’t have any clients and enough money to live. But also, they might be RIGHT about me “not being good enough”. Then what? If I’m not good enough at my core, then no one will love me, and help me when I have no money and place to live. Then what? I might die alone in a cardboard box along the highway…
Dramatic – yet your brain can leap to these icky conclusions at lightning speed – without your conscious awareness.
Here’s how this entire mess actually STARTED:
At one point in your life the love, acceptance and support of others WAS a life-or-death situation.
(But it’s not anymore.)
Your major fears and phobias took root when you were just a teensy-tiny tot — when your life DID rest in the hands of others.
Let’s face it: if the Giants that raised you decided to stop feeding, clothing or loving you, you would have withered away like a plant without water. Therefore fitting in, playing by the rules, and being a “Good Girl” were of utmost importance.
BUT… (drumroll)… you made some seriously lousy decisions back then — at an age when you didn’t have the wisdom to make very smart ones.
And now you’re innocently (and unknowingly) living as if these things are STILL life-or-death. As if the invisible shoe of demise is about to drop. Yeeek!
This shows up in your business as the fear of:
• Telling people about your services with gusto and passion
• Taking about your prices, or feeling worthy to receive money for what you do
• Speaking up and standing out in your unique field
• Having other people judge your work, wisdom, worth, weight, etc.
• Looking like a fool or a failure in your biz
…And on, and on, and on, and on.
So while this subject is vast, start today with this simple challenge:
• Act as IF you you were FEARLESS.
• PRETEND that nothing can hurt you.
• IMAGINE that having your heart cracked wide open, being on your own side, and feeling totally unstoppable, was the safest way to be.
Because here’s my strong belief:
Death is NOT to be feared. In fact, quite the opposite.
It’s the totally delicious moment when you get to ditch your human limitations, and go right back to your truest, CORE nature — the part of yourself that is infinite, limitless, never-ending and joyfully loving.
And gosh golly, how can THAT be bad?
So have more fun while you’re human. Sing louder, dance more wildly, ooze more passion, and make a bigger difference than you’ve ever done before!
(Because why the hell NOT?)
It’s time to fake it till ya make it. It’s time to make this life COUNT!!!! And it’s time to live in an unstoppable way that has others following along in your footsteps.
Do it for me.
Do it for my friend Brian.
But most importantly, do it for YOU.
© 2013 Stephanie McWilliams LLC
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