The “Law of Attraction” Can BITE Me.

This Common Misconception about the Law Of Attraction Can Secretly Wreck Your Happiness, Confidence and Intuition.

The recent death of Robin Williams stirred up a lot of buzz about death, suicide and depression.

LOTS of soulful women I work with also struggle with bouts of sadness and sorrow throughout their life, too.

And most of them are trying desperately to “get happy”.

But unfortunately, some major misunderstandings around the Law of Attraction are wreaking way more havoc than happiness . . .

So this morning it got me thinking back to the summer of 1997 — when I was lying horizontal on my aqua green couch in Brooklyn — having been in a deep depression for well over a year.

(Not to mention the YEARS of depression that came before that.)

My life sucked so hard that I had created my very own gravitational force-field – much like an energetic vacuum-cleaner for all things “suckorama” . . .

But I’m no slacker: I tried everything to feel better! And nothing worked.

That is, until one fated day –– when a NEW thought hit me upside ‘d head . . .

(A thought that was about to change my entire life forever.)

So as I lay there, horizontal on that green couch, contemplating the CRAZIEST idea I’d ever had, I was nervous. Skeptical.

(But I was also desperate.)

Girl Before A Door

“Maybe… just maybe… I should ACCEPT how I’m feeling…?”

That’s when I took one of the biggest leaps of my life, and cured my depression –– in 5 minutes flat.

Never to return.

And what I learned in those 5 minutes not only changed my life –– but it may also change yours, too.

You see, I had never once in my life accepted my “negative” inner world.

I held the popular belief that to “accept” something negative meant to be doomed to experience it — forever into eternity. As if my inner war against the darkness was somehow the only thing standing between me, and a life of outright misery.

So I spent my entire existence trying to “fix” me, get happy, and shove the bad stuff down.

…Heck, that’s what you’re supposed to do, isn’t it?

Doesn’t the Law of Attraction tell you to stay focused on good-feeling thoughts — and put joy above all else?

But I was getting to the end of my rope. It was harder and harder to function. And when someone like me gets that desperate, we’re willing to do ANYTHING.

So I set a limiter to my seemingly-insane experiment. I would ONLY accept my sorrow for 10 minutes.

And not 1 second longer.

That’s when I took a deep breath, and said the magic words silently inside my head:

“How do I know I should be depressed? I AM.”

(What is…IS.)


And I remember this like it was yesterday: I let myself BE depressed….

I let myself feel the heaviness. The sorrow. I sank into it. I let it take me over.

(Knowing in a few minutes the jig would be up and I’d go back to my previous pre-experiment, oh-so-depressing existence.)

1 minute clicked by…

Then 2 minutes.

( I was feelin’ MIGHTLY low…)

Then, as I let go, and floated on those waves of pain…. I noticed something “odd”:  those painful feelings weren’t so terrible after all.

They didn’t destroy me. Kill me. Scare me… as I’d believed my entire life.

And… to be perfectly honest with you… to embrace my feelings SO deeply actually made me feel ALIVE for the first time in eons!

Then as 3 minutes clicked by, and I was heading toward the big “4”… something shifted.

I was feeling… LIGHTER.

In fact, as another minute passed by… I started feeling (dare I say it?) = HAPPY!

And those dreaded year-long depressions went away. Never to return.

portrait of happy woman


Oh sure, I’ll still feel sadness from time to time — especially when I’m breaking new ground, healing something old, or faced with a big new life lesson.

But that’s rare. Spotty. Infrequent at best.

Now when those darker feelings come a’ knockin’ on my front door, I’m quick to let them in, pull out a chair, and let ‘em sit for a spell. Because once they’ve whispered their sweet message, they simply get up and head out the back door…

Easy peasy.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because more and more women are attempting to outrun their shadow-selves.

I regularly hear women telling me:

“I’m so afraid of thinking anything negative — won’t that manifest something TERRIBLE into my life?”

And this HAS to stop.

Women who avoid negativity by misunderstanding the core principles of the Law of Attraction keep themselves seriously stuck.

Law of Attraction is NOT about “positivity”. Law of Attraction is all about being in a state of NON-RESISTANCE!

And this (seemingly) simple misunderstanding causes fed-up women all around the globe to start rolling their eyes and breaking out in a rash the minute they hear those 3 little words…

Personally, I think that’s a cryin’ darn shame.

Because if you try to dodge the Law of Attraction you’re up Shit’s Creek without an Unstoppable paddle… That’s like trying to avoid oxygen. Or gravity. (Or taxes!)

If there is ANYTHING that you resist — like: anger, hopelessness, sadness, poverty or vulnerability — then as long as you are afraid to face it… it OWNS you. (By the lady-balls.)

Young woman tied to a chair

Whether you know it or not, those feelings or subjects you’re the most afraid to face ARE manifesting in the background. Like it or not.

…And no positive thinking is going to make that go away.

‘Cause the minute life triggers that inner scary shadow – you’ll be brought to your knees: again, and again, and again…

Here’s the scoop:

  1. TRUTH: Negative feelings have never killed anyone.

Quite the opposite, in fact. Suffering comes from RESISTING the negativity — not feeling it!

  1. TRUTH: When you finally allow negative feelings to arise – they usually don’t last for long.

When you allow them to breeze through, they float on by like clouds, just like a child’s fleeting temper-tantrum.

  1. TRUTH: Everything you want is found on the other side of the negative feeling.

Not only do these feelings hold profound messages within them — but on the other side of accepting them, there is a peace and strength unlike anything you’ve ever known.

Remember, the name of the game is: NON-RESISTANCE!

When you dodge a feeling, it is an act of resistance. And the harder you try to run, the stronger that resistance gets.

So believe it or not:

Turning TOWARD “negativity” can actually RAISE your energy and vibration!!!

dark haired girl wearing a white dress and holding a lantern

But here’s the REAL bummer:

When you dodge your negative feelings, most everything you attempt to create will ACTUALLY just be an expression of that initial resistance.

Yup. Just a sneaky way for your brain to try to run for the hills once again.


• If you are terrified of poverty: all your attempts to build wealth will just be an expression of your poverty consciousness.

• If you’re dreading rejection: all your attempts to be praised, win awards or garner success will actually be a reflection of that fear.

• If you feel unloveable somewhere deep-down: then all your attempts to win others’ affection and admiration will only be an attempt to run away from that pain.

And as you can imagine – rarely will any of these scenarios turn out well. (Or if they “look good” initially, they rarely last for long.)

In these types of scenario, “positivity” can totally bite you in the ass.

Or, how about we make things even easier….and break things down even more:

evolution of women from child to career woman


To really thrive on this planet, and milk the Law of Attraction for all it’s worth, you’ve got to understand the 3 stages of spirituality:


Stage 1 is where you first embrace the truth that you create your own reality. You begin noticing the connection between what you FEEL, and what takes place in your life – and start becoming aware of the truth that everything in your life is there because it’s an energetic match to how you’ve been feeling.

But, once you’ve got this down, you start to notice that no matter how hard you try to go for your dreams — you still keep hitting walls… endlessly stuck in negative cycles and limiting habits.

Unfortunately this is where most soulful women are trapped nowadays.

But it’s vital that you move on to Stage 2…


Stage 2 is when you turn to face all of  your painful beliefs and past wounds. You understand that until you can embrace them, and reformat them, they will continue to block your growth. You dive deep, question every thought, and walk right into the eye of the storm (or so you think).

And on the other side of that “storm” is… FREEDOM.

…Welcome to Stage 3!


Stage 3 is your soulful Shangri-La. It is a place where you have removed all your limitations, and you allow your Higher Consciousness to flow through you, unencumbered. Since you are fully aligned, and totally in love with your entire Being – you no longer attempt to run away from anything!

Now when you have desires and dreams arise within you, they are finally PURE = and you create simply for the joy of creating!

No strings attached. No end results required.


Let me tell ya, when it comes to stepping into your God-given intuitive talents — which is VITAL for your success — you will HAVE to embrace your poopie-parts. One way or another…

Here’s why: If you’ve got fears you’re dodging or old pains you’re avoiding, or wonky issues you prefer to cover up – it’s going to be impossible to ever get accurate intuitive information.

• If you try to “tune-in” for yourselfand don’t clean up your internal mess — you won’t allow many helpful insights to arise because your mind will over-ride anything you believe is threatening or scary.

• If you try to “tune-in” on other peopleand they have issues similar to the ones you’re running away from — you will project your reactions, issues and ickiness all over the information pouring through you.


Just think of yourself as a giant pipe… And all your stressful beliefs and negative feelings are one big, wet, slimy hairball jammin’ you up.

The more gunk you clean out from the inside of your pipe, the more Source energy and wisdom can pour right on through.


Now that I hope this concept has sunk into your bones, you may be wondering:

“Hm… but what do I DO now?”

…Great question!

Here are 2 simple exercises to consider — if you’re ready to walk up to your scary-bits, and shake their hand:

Beautiful woman looking through a magnifying glass

  1. Question your thoughts.

Your mental computer is made up ENTIRELY of beliefs handed to you by other (extremely unenlightened) people. You gobbled most of them up when you were far too young to realize these beliefs were incorrect and stressful… before you knew you had the right, and the ability, to question all those thoughts.

So it’s time to take a look at your stressful thinking NOW, and see how well it’s really working for you. And with practice, you’ll come to see that most everything you believe is utterly, downright untrue.

First, jot down 1–3 beliefs that send you into an emotional tail-spin.

  1. ____________________________________________________________
  2. ____________________________________________________________
  3. ____________________________________________________________

Then get really curious! Tune into your heart… your Soul… and ask:

“Can I be absolutely sure this is true?”

Also consider asking:

“Can I be 1000% sure that Source/God/The Universe holds this same perspective?”

Once you come to understand REAL truth — and view all of life from a God’s-eye perspective… those stressful thoughts and feelings just disappear… POOF!

  1. Feel your feelings.

While there are various ways to do deep, life-changing “shadow work”, one easy first step is simply to feel your feelings.

Set a timer or a digital reminder to stop you throughout your day, and simply tune into your emotions in that moment. Whether angry, neutral, happy, sad or stressful, just allow yourself to tune into them, and explore:

• What emotion is it? How would you label it?

• Where do you feel it in your body?

• Does it have a color?

• Does it have a movement to it? Perhaps: spinning, rolling, or pulsing?

• Does it have other characteristics: Like heat? Coolness? Tingling?

• How else would you describe the physical sensation? Is there a dull throb? A stabbing pain?

Get to know your emotions, and how they manifest. Because fully being present with yourself is a radical act of love — one that you’ve likely been dodging for a very, very long time.

It’s time to let go of this lousy, limiting myth that you’re supposed to poop rainbows, sing show-tunes, and daydream about kittens 24-7.

…That’s silly!

Funny picture of a young farmer woman with his goat.

But it IS time for you to accept things, just as they are.

THAT is what non-resistance is all about.

And if you’ll take my word for it: It’s a delightful, beautiful, FREE place to be.

So with that – may you REVEL in your “dark side” this week… and step into a whole new level of nonresistance – in your life, your work, your relationships…

And most of all, your precious connection to your very own self.

(Cause babycakes… does it get much better than THAT?)

I think not.

Be Unstoppable!!!!


© Copyright 2014 Stephanie McWilliams LLC

This entry was posted in Being Unstoppable!, Finances, Inspired Action, Intuition, Manifesting, Procrastination, Support, Unstoppable Mindset. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.

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  1. Annette Lynch
    Posted September 6, 2014 at 8:20 pm | Permalink

    Well said Stephanie. I’ve been musing over the situation of some friends going through some tough times and even depression, and this thought about resistance – how what you resist persists, and that your suffering comes from resisting ‘what is’. I’ve also been noticing the flow that has entered my own life the past month and that I have had a great many more intuitive moments to go with it.
    You summed it up beautifully. Thank you – I will be sharing this valuable piece with my friends.

    • Stephanie McWilliams
      Posted September 6, 2014 at 8:47 pm | Permalink

      Hey there, Annette! SO great to see your shining face…. It’s a fascinating topic, yes? I LOVE IT! And just know that while your friends may be going through something big – it’s tough to know from the outside whether it’s resistance… or transformation… at work. Things are shifting big-time on the planet, and a lot of people are being brought to their knees – only to build themselves back up in a whole brand-new way! What may look like a ‘breakdown’ may actually be a breakthrough taking place… Trust their process! And WAAHOOOOO for your fun recent flow!!!! Most people are going to notice a massive upswing in intuitive hits, synchronicities, etc. — the lag-time between a feeling, and it manifesting as reality is shortening DRAMATICALLY! And that’s for everyone… so it’s an exciting time to be alive: that’s for sure! Stay in touch — I think of you often, and hope life is continuing to unfold profounding for you!!!!!! XOOXOX

  2. Jenean
    Posted September 8, 2014 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    Hi Stephanie,

    I love where you clarify the 3 stages of Spirituality. It really helps me to visually see where in the process I am, so I don’t fight feeling my feelings. Thanks for this!

    Hugs, Jenean

  3. Susan Liddy
    Posted September 10, 2014 at 7:53 pm | Permalink

    Beautifully and clearly written. Yes, what you resist persists. If you resist feeling sad… guess what? If you resist feeling anger… guess what? What we bottle up and refuse to address, comes up and out in some other form… 100% of the time.

    And, there are important messages that tell us about who we are, what we want and what is important to us, within all of our emotions. FEEL emotions not only to allow them to release and flow through you, yet to also enable them to deliver the important message. This doesn’t require great skill. Only the willingness to breathe into them, BE with them and LISTENING.

    Totally adore you Stephanie!!!!

  4. Jessica
    Posted September 16, 2014 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    Oh. So. GOOD!!!!!!!! Thanks to your help, I know how to access Stage THREE!!!! LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!

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